Wednesday, September 19, 2018


An exciting new watch brand has been announced!  I received this release from a special correspondent (RG) -

Introducing a revolutionary new watch brand. Are you the kind of person that doesn't want to stand out in the crowd? When you go to a restaurant do you wait to order last and then ask, "what is everybody else getting?" Then do we have the watch for you! Introducing - Lemming watches and our first release, the "Bandwagon"

Courtesy of Lemming
Some watch companies brag about their low production numbers and exclusivity, how silly! The Lemming Bandwagon is a limited edition of 7.6 billion pieces (for our A series that is) that way every human on earth can have one! We've taken a lot of time to consider our pricing too. We were going to price it at $10,000 but we know how desperately you'll want to look like your neighbor so your price will be $20,000.

Now let's get to the movement. We experimented with multiple barrels to get the longest power reserve but it wasn't enough. We tried various batteries but it still wasn't enough. The Lemming Bandwagon runs off the power of your desperate need to be accepted which is endless!!

Now, what about our watchmaking credentials? Who gives a shit! Celebrities wear our watches and our name is on boats and planes. Doesn't that tell you enough? We thought so.

See you soon at the Lemming convention! Well, only if you're going!

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