Tuesday, January 17, 2017

You Show Up Late To a Presentaton? You Get a Night in the Box!

So it was not without some mirth that I was acquainted with the rules that have been set forth by the SIHH by a few different people who are attending.  This was shared over various conversations, so I need to be clear that I am only going by what I was told by some of my fellow members of the Fourth and Fifth Estate who have attended in the past and will attend this year as well.  Apparently, each attendee is provided with a briefing document that spells out the "behavioral" expectations of those members of the press who are attending.  I have been informed it is known as the "Code of Conduct".  And from the way they described it, it did not sound too dissimilar from a dormitory's rules list for a parochial / military boarding academy.  I mean, these are grown men and women traveling from the four corners of the globe to attend YOUR (Richemont's) fair at no small personal expense, and you essentially provide them a briefing document because you need to make sure that their behavior and attendance meets YOUR standards??? 

Anyway, it immediately brought to mind one of my favorite movies about journalistic pursuits in the luxury industry - Cool Hand Luke.  I will be paraphrasing here, so take this with the necessary amount of salt.

Shamelessly borrowed from the World-Wide Infoweb
Captain: What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. 

Translation, you are all grown men and women who have traveled thousands of miles at no small expense, but we can't trust you to act like adults.  So were going to create a set of rules that you better follow, or you'll be spending the next SIHH with that guy at Tempus Fugit!

Shamelessly Borrowed from the world-wide infoweb

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb
Carr:  First bell's at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box.
Translation, you better be on time for any event you are scheduled for.  And don't try that "I didn't have a watch" excuse!

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb

Carr:  These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box.

Translation, you have agreed to attend ruinously expensive dinners and cocktail parties.  It would be REALLY BAD MANNERS if you don't show up.  Miss or be late for one at your peril...

Carr:  Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. 

Translation, suit, tie, formal wear.  Interesting to relate one member of the Fifth Estate was banned a few years back for not complying with the dress code.  Calls were made, hands were wrung, tears were shed, and he is back in the fold.  Let's hope Men's Wearhouse had something in his size (extra lumpy).

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb

Carr:  No one'll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box.

Translation, Richemont and the SIHH is paying for a few nights accommodation for some of you (WHAT THE F*&K?), and not for breakfast and taxes.  And for the rest of you, there might still be room at the Y.

So thank you for spending your time and your money to cover our brands - make sure you follow the rules, and enjoy your stay!

Shamelessly borrowed from the world-wide infoweb



No comments:

Post a Comment