Saturday, January 14, 2017

The Company You Keep

It's Saturday night, it's after dark, and I was checking out Touch of Modern.  Just me and my computer.  And, yeah, I got a little curious what else might be on offer at Touch of Modern besides watches, so I let my fingers do the walking.  I mean, just a quick peak...

Interesting to relate, the site that a few watch distributors proudly refer to as their trusted partner is also, apparently, a trusted partner of Joy Division!  Now before you folks of a similar vintage get all excited and go looking for your Stu-stu-studio Line from Loreal hair gel so that you can get your wedge on, allow me to inform you that JoyDvision is not that beloved band of your misspent youth.  Although their products are sold with a "gel" of sorts, it is the type that might wind up in your hair as a consequence, rather than an intention ; )

JoyDivision are, in fact, to quote the folks at Touch of Modern,  a manufacturer of-

Award-Winning Adult Toys

And no, we are not talking about golf clubs or backgammon sets.  One of their featured items is the Xpander X2.  I am not going to go into a lot of detail as to what exactly the Xpander X2 is, or does. Despite the occasional coarse language, this is a mostly PG 13 blog about watches.  Moreover, I read the entire product description (in the interest of journalistic research) and I am still somewhat unsure myself.  And frankly, to quote my Me-Maw, this is not the appropriate forum for such conversations.  Which is why you won't find banner advertisements for Astro Glide or watch reviews penned by Ron Jeremy on the Tempus Fugit site.  

Now I am not making any judgements about what Touch of Modern chooses to sell on their site, although from now on the word "touch" in their name will conjure up all sorts of different visions...  
Frankly, I'm a grown-up, and they are grown-ups selling to other grown-ups.

Having said that, there is a reason why Omega, Rolex, Patek, hell even Shinola have not come out with a co-branded range of "Adult Toys", and why Wempe, Tourneau, Gubelin, Watches of Switzerland and other noted watch retailers don't have "peep booths", complimentary copies of Hustler and tubes of lube for sale alongside the watches.

I am also pragmatic.  I know that the sales side of the industry is REALLY tough right now.  And Touch of Modern is a lot more palatable than just mass dumping in some of the other less appealing online sites.  But when a brand is telling me that they feel that selling online through their own site is tacky, and that their watch is "special" and needs to be carefully "curated"?  Well...

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