Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Goldgena - It's About the Watches, Man!

With another announcement about Goldgena's plan and an update it is becoming clearer and clearer that their attempt to "Kick the watch making anthill" is not entirely dissimilar to:

SEVENFRIDAY, Dietrich and countless other former Swiss insiders who decided to hang out their own shingle, offered different designs, and less expensive (Miyota or other) movements.

For those just tuning in, the thesis is this -

1.  Apparently Swiss watchmaking companies are evil and look to stick it to "Chinamen" because they work for peanuts to provide the Swiss with cases, dials, hands, etc. everything except the movement and the magical hand of the master Swiss watch maker.  Then, because the self-same "Chinamen" are so stupid, they then buy the same watch back at inflated prices.  This is illustrated in a wonderfully racist and ethnocentric cartoon that you can hop in the "way-back" machine and go back in time 50 years when it was just good old fashioned fun to be a racist asshole -

2.  Apparently - and I know that this will knock you over with a feather - Swiss watch companies over produce and have to dump product into the grey market.  And that's not all, they also (brace yourself) screw over retail partners with strong-arm distribution tactics.

3.  Did I mention that they are really sincere?  It's about the watches, man!

4.  BUT - they're different, man!  It's about the watches, man.  Therefore they don't need any distribution, at least not the traditional type.  They do, however, need you (John and Jane Q Public) to become "Sheriffs" and rustle up a posse of your own!

"I'd like to tell you about a special club that I belong to.  No, it's not Amway..."

5.  And because they are different, and not suckling on the corporate teet of evil Swiss mega conglomerates, they need YOUR help.  Because, see, it's about the watches, man!  Stay tuned for a Kickstarter project so you can help fund the vision!

6.  Because they are going about it a different way, because, it's about the watches, man!  They don't have any money to throw around on useless, frivolous things that traditional watch brands do.

Which I guess explains why it now appears that a press agency has been engaged?

And if I am wrong or have misunderstood that highlighted last point, I sincerely welcome the (soon to be named) folks at Goldgena to set me straight.

Otherwise, I'm calling bullshit.

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