Tuesday, January 26, 2016

If it Bleeds...it's a Dick Move

This is the latest AMAZING advertising campaign featuring an armed, swollen French actor (thankfully NOT in his swim suit) loitering over the carcass of Bambi, kissing bullets and making "smoochy" faces at the dead animal.  Because (according to the poetic waxing of the narrator), his Cvstos made sure that he was on time, and that apparently, it was Bambi's time.  Clearly Bambi did not have a Cvstos.  So for those of you so inclined, here is their EPIC film -






La nouvelle publicité douteuse de Gérard... by


Monsieur Depardieu, in a truly heroic performance, twirls a bullet thoughtfully, kissing it once or twice, and leaves no doubt that
Cvstos is proud to be Russian.  Apparently this entails, I don't know, shooting Bambi to make a cheesy video and prove that you are, I guess, proud to be Russian...

Cvstos, I know that some jack ass in your marketing team assured you this would be edgy.

It's not. It's just tacky, in poor taste and clearly designed to get ANY reaction, whether it's positive or negative.  In other words - it was A DICK MOVE.  I can't blame Mr. Depardieu - he is, after all, an actor.  He is just reading lines.  But Cvstos - I can't help but think you might want to reconsider before you load up the PR shotgun again.  You have certainly made an impression.  For every 3 new fans you made, you have now alienated 6.  I am sure that this is from the if it "bleeds it leads" school of marketing.  But as brands are painfully learning (some faster than others) the public is getting tired of it.  If it bleeds - It's a Dick Move.

I am no marketing expert, but I believe the idea of marketing is to get people to actually LIKE you, not hate you.

For the record - I eat meat, I wear leather, and I have friends who are hunters.  They are respectful, and would not use a dead animal as a "prop" in some piece of Kabuki theatre for the inebriated.  I would wish Cvstos luck, but it seems that some common sense might be a bit more of an urgent need.


1 comment:

  1. Cvstos is still in business??? (just kidding... sort of)

    I also eat meat and don't shy away from leather at all, and I completely agree with you. What a stupid ad!!! Easily the worst I've ever seen from the watch industry.

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