Thursday, August 13, 2015

And a Shout-Out for the Misogynists out there!

Just when I think that the industry has "checked itself before it wrecks itself", leave it to Ulysse Nardin to drain a little more water out of a very shallow pool.

With a headline like:

Ulysse Nardin Reveals Its Sensual Side with Hourstriker Erotica Jarretière.

Images of Burt Convey in a leisure suit cavorting with Barbi Benton in the "Pirate's Cove" while Isac serves up "Champagne Cocktails" to the rubes from Wisconsin.
Luckily - Doc was on hand to dispense antibiotics as needed ; )
Shamelessly borrowed from the "info-web"
(Author's note, this image is apparently from Fantasy Island, but you get the idea).

To quote the "wordsmiths" from UN:
"The scene exposes lovers, viewable from the interior balcony, enjoying each other."

Does anyone else smell "Astroglide"?

This (to me at least) is about as subtle as the come-on the aging sculptor uses on the young ingenue -
"To me, the human body is a work of art... take off your bra!"

So you see, it's not just a watch for people who like sex, it's a watch for people who like to WATCH other people having sex!

I mean, really they are doing a public service!  Perhaps you like looking at naughty pictures - and not just pictures but automated copulation!  You shouldn't have to suffer the indignity and embarrassment of going to the newsstand or kiosk and getting caught perusing the merchandise by the chairwoman of your son's PTA group.  Don't worry, Ulysse Nardin has got  you covered!

Courtesy of Ulysse Nardin

That's right, you're a "sophisticated" sort of fellow with more dollars than sense, you've earned it!

I can just hear the reaction when you show it to some "sweet young thing" of the Millennial age group that you are trying to impress at the sports bar:

"It's a world - class timekeeper, babe... see?"

"Eewww... gross!"

I realize and accept that I am probably sounding a bit prudish, but honestly, the 70's are over and with luck most people reading this who lived through those "sexy" times have gotten rid of their crabs and their chancre sores have cleared up.  But for those of you 40+ guys out there who are convinced you've still "got it", this just might be the watch for you.

In fairness, there is a historical basis for the erotic watch and they have been done in a tasteful manner, but this watch is about one step above putting on a Hustler trucker's hat with a Trojan Condom T-shirt.

Shamelessly borrowed from the "info-web"
Okay, bad example...

Here's the thing, no doubt we pretty much all like sex - that is sort of a given.  But just like we all go to the toilet, maybe we don't need a watch commemorating it?

I'm "Audi 5000" -

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