Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Torn Curtain "Redux"

And just when you thought things really couldn't get any odder with them, Raketa's "propaganda cadre" has sent this "cable" through the Swedish embassy ; )

Now, I for one get a "giddy thrill" when I see one of Raketa's press releases 'cause frankly, they always send me to the toilet double-fast to ensure I don't ruin my underwear from the inevitable loss of bladder control such bouts of unchecked laughter trigger.

Yes boys and girls, this is the VERY SAME Raketa that told all of us "running dog, capitalist stooges" to go screw ourselves earlier this month as they were going to single-handedly punish us for the "Rude" sanctions that the "West" was imposing on them - "and tovarich, could you maybe write something nice about us…"

Well with my bladder "voided", and (most) of the laughter worked through my system, let me share this "breaking news" from the Raketa "politburo" -

Courtesy of Raketa
If any of you have seen the Alfred Hitchcock film, Torn Curtain, you will recall that Paul Newman is seemingly "seduced" to "defect" the west and sell his country's scientific secrets to the East Germans.  Well, although I pretty much snoozed through the Sochi games (except the hockey) apparently a plucky  "comrade" from that Russian snow boarding enclave of White Salmon, Washington (check the map, it's nestled deep in Siberia), delivered gold to the home team, and Raketa in their ever-sophisticated way decided that if young Vic Wild can snow board - what the hell, let's hire him to work for us!

Once again, here's the unvarnished report straight from the source.  For those of you with bladder control issues, this is your "depends warning" -  oh, and per the decision to not export some of their "high end models" you lap-dogs of western imperialism might have to go… screw yourselves ; )

Vic Wild is a double gold winner in snowboard in Sochi 2014 winter games. He is also acting as a strategic director of Russia’s oldest factory - Petrodvorets Watch Factory “Raketa”. He has just created the design of a new Raketa-Avtomat watch.
Courtesy of Raketa
The model «White Nights» is white like snow and wild like Saint - Petersburg's polar nights!
Based on the movement «Raketa Avtomat», one of the world’s most reliable watch movements, this automatic watch is elegant and fashionable both for women and men.
Raketa starts selling long-awaited model «Avtomat-Classic» based on the unique mechanism «Raketa-Avtomat».
It is the first time in 30 years that Russia comes up with a new automatic self-winding movement. The mechanism was improved with the help of ex-director of Rolex.

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